Again, I lie and cry "forget it" there's no need to pretend, 'cause why would I have said it, with hope in mind I figure out the limit power through the sound and image, now and then I lie and cry "forget it, I'll hide and try again" Feeling so unaware, I'm all in, torn in by something that is not even there, something that doesn't care But it's all in my head, I care unbearably, pessimistic and so instead, I think of all the ways I'm so intense so I separate, suffering for the hell of it, I elevate, deep in the center I fell for it, but I compensate and you're there protecting me, subject to fear but it's clear that I'll find the hell in me, like it's supposed to be Again, I lie and cry "forget it" there's no need to pretend, 'cause why would I have said it, with hope in mind I figure out the limit power through the sound and image, now and then I lie and cry "forget it, I'll hide and try again" I am intentionally sick, wired, and narcissistic, so Arrive with my hands on a cig, light it, and give it a hit, woah I gotta feeling that it's making me mad I feel a little sick of living, it's taking me backwards Smile for the photo, "Hi" for the phone call Dying to show off, tired of the codependent for both, inspired to go for pious intent when I circumvent 'cause I have a problem to fix, but I still act like a kid, though Too metaphorically big, careless, with nothing ahead, so

I want somebody I can fight for, I'd like her sunny peace of mind or, a little funny drinking buddy not a worry or an eyesore, if I hold you late I'm sorry, my fault. I can't control my gut reaction to the passion for your words and, my attraction to be your first man, I never disregard that the feeling of this in fractions is a curse when, I think of others when I'm hurting, Follow my head when I can't find it there, cry, but careful, tie it where I wine in echoed sighs of care, fries and tacos, bite it bare please mind it all cause I pull the cork, and it pops up, fill it tall, bring it all up, to the top cup, oh grab a fork, and just rock up, break it apart , can't afford, to be caught up, no. Felt a moment close to those I know I chose to hold on tightly Sold my soul to host a ghost I don't impose to go and fight me Yea, my Sorrow has taken hits, wanna rid myself of sickness Needed a break for a bit, But breaks aren't in my interest I'm not alright, but I can try to find the pieces that fit in Don't know why, I take so long to finally go on living I'm behind, but I will try to give myself over again I can't help, anxiety has manifested and it's tiring. Double check all the words before you see this side of me, it's too complex, I'd rather nod agreeing silently. A little frightened of the mind from all the Anticipation, following fragments of a relationship. Stifle the trauma, forget the drama, keep up the pace and if, she is the one who I think, know that you're fortunate carry all your enthusiasm like you carry baggage with Held back, I state facts, but struggling Fake act, rephrase that, I'm mumbling. the words that leave me keep on coming in, but your initiations keep me wondering, my heart is fluttering Came in the station forsakened, wake and just bake but I hated the day and the way I was taken. Fake it, unable to play it, gave it away and I caved in. Haven it breaks, in place because only they are worth saving

I can't pretend it doesn't bother me, I feel alone and that its wrong to be, so full of thoughts, it's like I'm caught up in the fog and that there's more to see. Complacent in the state that I am in, a living thing so livid, tin interior, I believe it's pouring in. The pressure as it builds inside, when there is space the face you save will take the form of laws that you abide. I can't pretend it doesn't bother me, I feel alone, when i'm at home, where is the place that i can hide. Safe from all the dread, safe from all that's said, say you're safe but afraid what's in your head, afraid that nothing's there, came to think of a day when i misread in the way that i mislead I am asymmetric, unveiled to all the dead, as if they were overhead so you paid the price and I'll Stay. I can't even hear myself weep, and keep emotions in deep, you feel me? I feel weak, Tear apart the real me, cos really, it seems I'm pushing on a ceiling. Understand the facts now, gotta learn to put the past intact and back how I react to it all, picture that, from the fall, fill the cracks as I act out I can't pretend it doesn't bother me, I feel alone and that its wrong to be, so full of thoughts, it's like I'm caught up in the fog and that there's more to see. Complacent in the state that I am in, a living thing so livid, tin interior, I believe that I've spent too much time regretting who I used to be These walls are no more than an entity, the enemy They've sucked out the energy, I'm exhausted mentally "We're trying to help." This is the end of me Every night I cried screaming. But no one in the house could hear me (sure) Do you know what that's like? Fighting for your life when you're only just nine Well, fine, I'll give myself just this time. i'll sacrifice myself, why? I'm someone that is incapable of escaping you so I'll just embrace this white lie. I run in circles all of the time and ask why So sick of sitting inside of my mind but it's fine My hiding spot was in the thought that I was more than this A little girl with no intention of mentioning That the million times she’s smiled, she’s lying to herself “Why can’t I be someone else?” I’m crying for some help Nauseous, but I hold it, I'm open for the role that I told you was killing me You taught us, to be cold and, and to cope with, own it with the load of uncertainty How long could it be, cos it seems, it was led to believe, that apparently, I'm in charge, of my destiny I run in circles all of the time and ask why So sick of sitting inside of my mind but it's fine I run in circles all of the time and ask why So sick of sitting inside of my mind but it's fine

I liked you but you go and play me still want you it's driving me crazy Notice a change in the ways that I think, eternal reactions to anything relevant to things or places you've been. A tick everytime I go in. They say it's a lesson to learn, a blessing but how come it feels like this blessing is setting my essense to burn All your words concise, to the point it slices deep and hides it well, cut me down to size, minimised my life, I’m weak in mind and hell. Idolise the one that just takes the sun away, and keeps her shell Mad as fuck that its done but I think I'm the one to blame, so let me dwell Yea, I'm a soft guy, I can admit that, and the fit had, little in it but It's not alright, hold the beat back, and the heat pack, need a minute to sit in it because; I really thought I knew, and I thought I knew you too, but mainly I'm just fucking tired of saying that "I need to shift my views, I need to think this through”, cause I don't really wanna think about you. Had enough of passing up the standing up, mad at us, and it's breaking in two. glue it back, like the pain so I do But I don't think it needs some time too, look at me, inevertantly, free, and how I see, indeed, it feeds me, while the memories move. It's better than trying to keep what I lose You break my heart Do i want you or do i just wanna kiss we size each other up i've never known love like this your eyes hold me frozen sometimes i wonder was it random or was i chosen,I hold it and thought shouldn't it be simple? but aren't the simplest things so big, and Intricate you know i'm used to being single And as the wave came crashing in, I went with it I liked you but you go and play me still want you it's driving me crazy ruminating inside slowly decaying wishing on a star hold my breath as if i were slaying it focus on purpose (move through) focus on worship (you'll lose) yourself in the wisdom still the same but so different uncle iroh he inspired me he reminded me i am young and i am hungry so let's sit have a sip of tea while we're here why not throw a feast flip out on a beat made by rackenzie I change according to the ways that you have pushed me I ache and break internally until I look free I work it out inside, I walk on glass but only just notice my foot bleed I am so fucking just tired of your intentions my mind is wired to give anything you mention You keep me compromised, You are so fucking entitled to this attention Baby, don’t you go, Baby don’t you cry Baby, don’t you earn my respect for another time

Let me go back to a time that I wish I could recall. I'm sentimental for When I could answer more. I can finally find out what I've been searching for. Mend the part that tore. Maybe I want more Wake up to faces alluding they knew it, the mistakes that made but refusing to refute it; I hope to god that I brace this illusion, I load the fault and degrade this abusive mentality that I am done. I can't escape the sequential thoughts that don't overcome. They have already won. Pull back and swallow some. Choke on the rest and retreat to feeling just: kind of numb Rapid perpetual knots, facets of madness, it plasters habitual thoughts, covering the ash in this blasted, inevitable, rot. Passing it off as, an anecdote, fact but its not. I rarely take the view that I was given to, I keep hidden too, I mask the tasks and signs of the past, as best that I can do, but laugh in sadness, cry with intention cos as a residue. I had to have the lack of attention to feel it coming through so just Big man, on the town with stacks and stacks of projects, sittin around No time for the weekend, me and these friends, thinkin bout the old days got me feeling down Young boy with the tunes in the dark. Eminem and Linkin Park Early rising, honey stars, finna beat my score in Tony Hawk Times change, watch it pass you by, feeling distant, non-existent like a lie, I just wish I didn't have to grow or have to go and say goodbye What I had turned me into what I am and I feel like that was the plan But I stay true to what I've been through, though seasons change, I do what I can I fantasize a lot, I don't really feel bad, except I sacrifice the part of me that feels caught, I don't really see that, I don't wanna heal fast, I just wanna lie awake and take what I got, in the moment, everything that I'm not, wanna hold it, and save embrace cause I thought, that I sold it, off and on, I'm gone and longing, pawning anything cause I am fed up with the coping mechanisms, Led to wallow waiting in the fold of holding all that isn't, said the sediment air of care would wear off but the fair share has set me in a bed of recognition, discontentment, vented fiction, and its friends 'cos we just never intended to learn

Away I was healing. Instead of trying to mend, it started peeling, I looked behind for a friend, but now i rethink, the subtle pulling of ends, I had to keep in. I tolerated the past but now its all clear. I put myself in a cast of rational fears. "Not so unreasonable now", the words from my peers. "Why are you still here?", block out what I hear I thought it mattered when I called too, I saw the pattern but it's all cool I've fucking had it but I'd rather keep my focus on the latter than the former but it nevertheless falls through. The pain is mine, and that is part of what gets me, and in time, the sickness starts to infect deep, it spreads already I've been afraid of what you say and not just barely, I take the weight, though it starts to feel Inside, I've been tired but push on, I grin my, empty smile but could not Again try, while I keep in mind that upon. These thin lines, I'm feeding the fires that go wrong so as a misfit, I reminisce to what I was to this kid. The antithesis to this evicted, guest, dressed in best, mess, lest I forget it said it cared less around this, but I never thought the first song that I wrote about this, would be me venting and lamenting about how this, couldn't even see, what it did to me, I feel my inadequacy, but adequately I thought I was enough but I misread. I didn't see the incessant pending of something else that wasn't met And I don't blame it, I just wish that I knew this before I gave in Round two, keep my distance, as it builds up ahead, I push it instead but I fell through, in an instant, but it's all in my head, it repeats, I feel bad for letting this happen again, it hurts still I don't learn from what hasn't been said. the insecure, extension foregone, I think we've been here before can you stop me from just hanging on